Why Hangry Ghost?
The hungry ghost is a beingânot quite ghost, not quite humanâwho roams the Earth with insatiable desire and an incessant hunger for more. Sometimes depicted with long, open necks and protruding bellies that never get full, some all skin and bones with tiny mouths that can never nourish themselves no matter how much they eat, the hungry ghost appears in some form throughout most all Eastern traditions, from Hinduism to Tibetan Buddhism, and even in Christianity disguised as the Grigori. Their reckless desire is often associated with rage for their unfulfilled longings and their demand for more.Â
Itâs said that hungry ghosts live the way they do as punishment for past desires, addictions, and longings. Iâve always loved this story, but see the hungry ghosts in a much different light. Perhaps, as someone whoâs struggled with alcoholism and addiction (a plight often associated with these creatures), itâs because I understand the truth behind such desires. The emptiness. The misunderstanding. The damnation that comes from behaving in such an animalistic way, a way that feels beyond your control.Â
I know, and it is said of the hungry ghostsâ yearnings, that the plea is actually for the unseen, the spiritual, the mystical. God. Iâve found this to be true for my own gluttonous pursuits. Whether or not I still pursue them is another, very human story that I hope to explore hereâas I recognize the reckless, insatiable nature of these bbs. I love them. I am them.Â
And perhaps, thatâs why Iâve always been drawn to New York Cityâa giant cesspool of people commanding that life give them more. Demanding their dreams be fulfilled. Requiring constant stimulation. Moving there has become an itch I must scratch, for better or for worse.
So subscribe to watch me (for your own comic relief, shit-talking, or perhaps to inspire, weâll see) try to 'make it' as a writer in NYC, as I move this summer and begin my Masters in Nonfiction and Poetry at The New School in the fall.Â
Writing is my lifeline, but like any other writer I know, consistency is killer. I find myself stuck in the trash cycle of âthinking about writingâ or âstressing about writingâ more than writing itselfâwhich is the only thing that soothes the hunger.Â
Hereâs a prayer (a hope, a DREAM) for consistency with this newsletter, as I explore the plight of the hangry ghost, the mystical, and the creative that fuels me, via personal essays, poetry, + the drama in the stars.
Thanks for being here.Â
In the meantime, tell your friends!