it's time to go

leaving for southeast asia again almost 9 years later to the day

Jan 21, 2026

It’s been awhile since I shared on Substack. The end of 2025 was all analog: my notebook, my junk journal, crafts, reading, and collage. Plus, my video project for The Artist Residency really reminded me how much I love video and editing. (Queue full sending Instagram reels. 😉) Writing hasn’t been my primary form of creativity lately—which is some mixture of “okay” and “unacceptable” in my mind.

I’m trying to allow myself to play, to take the pressure off of my creative work, but it’s hard when there is a constant voice looming in the background. “WRITE YOUR BOOKS,” she screams at me. And she is mean! But she is right!!

Since my decision to take a self-funded sabbatical from teaching, there’s even more pressure to work on these manuscripts… But I know pressure and worry stunts creative work. [If you haven’t seen this video about taking a semester off, it’s here. But long story short, I decided to not teach this semester to focus on travel and my books and other creative pursuits ❕❕]

I didn’t take this route just to stress MORE/about NEW THINGS so I’m trying really hard to trust. But here is the vulnerable truth that doesn’t appear in the quick IG content: I don’t make enough without teaching to pay my rent. I’m fortunate to have a safety net that I’ve been building for years, plus the curse/gift of being accustomed to frugality, but the money will run out. I live alone, I pay everything alone, flights must be purchased alongside packs of chicken and heads of broccoli, all with US prices at an all-time high. This constant money worry virtually depletes my creative resources. It ups the stakes on every single decision I make. The privilege of savings doesn’t last long in 2026.

Here’s a few things I’ve been contemplating regarding this career pause:

When we’re resourced, it’s much easier to make these kind of leaps into the unknown. If I didn’t have this savings, maybe I wouldn’t have done it. Also, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe you can do it without the savings because I do lowk believe in infinite possibilities.
However, it’s easier to believe in possibilities when you’re resourced…
When you take a risk, it’s only important that you believe it’s justified. Risk-taking doesn’t have to be impulsive or erratic. It doesn’t have to be logical to make sense to you. But you must keep the faith!!! And ignoring people’s logical opinions can be really hard.
A risk is still a risk, even if vantage points differ.
The more risks you take, the more you believe in taking them! I’ve found proof in the universe rewarding audacity with pretty much every risk I’ve taken—but never before. It’s the action that creates trust. Even when it’s been hard for a while, it has always brought me someplace I needed to be.
Leaving my fairly secure position at a university for something as uncertain as travel and creative pursuits in the current state of the world is highkey illogical, and I do understand that. I believe in paradoxical moves when you’re ready to get somewhere new.

If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that I started my first blog (when those were cool; it was early 2017!) the first time I solo-traveled in Thailand. I’d booked my ticket on a sobbing whim three weeks before I left. I arrived to Bangkok with culture shock beyond imagination after a 30-hour trek. And before I could fully panic, I crashed at 7 PM.

From a hostel kitchen at 3 AM the following day, I created my blog in one sitting, one tab open with another blogger’s instructions on how to make a WordPress and another tab with my brand new page. I posted my first blog around 7 AM that morning to zero readers before going out to explore The Grand Palace, paper napkin with scribbled directions in hand. I had no idea I’d come back to a furry of comments and likes and actual people reading my stuff. I was literally so excited.

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AI-generated content may be incorrect. — My biggest fan. <3 I’ve been reading this comment over and over. :’)

The other day, I read through the blog for the first time in yearssss. I didn’t realize it had been so long. 9 whole years!? I still think about and reference that trip so much that I never would have guessed it had been that long. 9 years ago, I bought a ticket to Thailand with absolutely no clue why I wanted to go there. 9 years ago, I sat in a café in Bangkok and overheard a girl mention that we were in Southeast Asia—and realized I didn’t even know that. 9 years ago, I showed myself what it means to listen to that overwhelming I’m-going-to-cry-or-throw-up-feeling that only hits us when we have to take a chance. I showed myself what trust really looks like. That actually, faith is an action.

When I think back to that first trip out of the country, I deadass can’t believe I did it. There were no reels or Tiktok to inspire me or help me plan (just my precious niece who had done it before me!). I had no clue e-sims existed and not enough money for an international phone plan, so I could only use my phone when I had wifi. You couldn’t even download Google Maps yet, so I relied on paper maps and locals every step of the way. I’m in awe of my courage. I’m in awe of my fortitude to stick it out despite my fear and uncertainty and complete solitude. Because all of that was there. But I did it anyway. And because of that courage, I was changed forever.

And I haven’t stopped thinking about Southeast Asia since.

Lowk went OFF with these photos of Bangkok on an old ass iPhone with two bags strapped to me.

Reading those blogs written by younger-me who listened to the call of the unknown (when it’s so easy to ignore) inspired the hell out of me. Who is she!? So fierce and open. So brave.

Maybe it all sounds melodramatic and cheesy. I mean, sure, I guess it is. But it’s also just true. Because of the moves that younger-me made, I have since made sure to provide myself with the flexibility to go when I’m ready to go again (inevitable).

So if you’re hoping I’ll tone down the Eat-Pray-Love-ass storyline, feel free to unsubscribe now, because I just bought another one way to Bangkok.

Next stop… Vietnam.

venmo: @lizzdawson for a coffee/night of accomodation/little treat <3

A note…

“DOESNT WATCHING THIS STUFF MAKE YOU SO DEPRESSED OMG ID BE UNABLE TO EXIST IN THE WORLD.” This is a DM I received last week after sharing my umpteenth reel about the murder of Renee Nicole Good by ICE. First: I know that the statement was well-meaning, albeit ignorant. Because it was from someone I dearly love, I’m not writing about it with shade. (I know nuance is hard to see in these situations, but I am actively looking for it… Where it can be found. That this was a murder, there is no nuance.)

But look, I get it. Watching the news and reels and women being shot in the face is super depressing. I sobbed the other night in fear and grief until I couldn’t anymore; this murder was not the only time I’ve been brought to this place re the state of the world. But I can’t look away because these things affect so many people I love; they affect me, as a woman and a queer person—and beyond the ways they touch me or my world, they are against my highest value: that all human life is of equal importance. That all humanity is worth open eyes and an open heart, worth respect and dignity, etc and on. (All my traveling has only reaffirmed this over and over again.)

The US is an absolute wreck right now in a way that is affecting the entire world—and many of my international friends/fellow travelers I meet are more informed than some people I know back home, which is really unfortunate. And grossly American.

Ignoring the news and the internet doesn’t make what’s happening go away. Ignoring it just makes you privileged and uninformed. So I’m imploring you to please pay attention—at minimum.

The state of this country is just one more reason to gtfo for a minute.
(Just one more reason to feel conflicted about it all, too.)